Reviews
Ahma: Crooked issue
28/06/11 || revenant
To stub, or not to stub? That is the question. Since bringing in that great new section we the writers are now faced with deep, troubling questions, such as is there and afterlife, did Pluto deserve to be demoted from being a planet, what kind of animal is Goofy anyway and whether each label sent record deserves a full review or the stub treatment. On the surface Ahma is a perfect stub candidate: a completely unknown band releasing their debut album with an ugly album cover and stupid description of the music style (“loud”?). Yep all the elements are there. So why a full review and not a stub? I actually really like this album. Yes, I am as amazed as you are.
So let’s kick this off and talk about what Ahma (which apparently means “wolverine”) actually do. “Simple and loud rock” is the description they give themselves, and it’s pretty much on the mark. I’d add that they lay down a fair amount of groove into the music as well. The guitars sound nice and fat, accentuating this groove, and most of the riffing is simple but effective. The vocals are typical grisly rock vocals, ugly enough to suite dirty rock music but and performed well. The music is mostly mid-paced, but on the odd occasion they do shift up a gear without any issues.
The thing that makes this album work, ultimately, is how incredibly catchy it is. The rocking riffs and grooves lay one hell of a foundation, which is backed up choruses and structures that stick in your head the way dried cum sticks your dick to your leg. If there is one thing this band has mastered, it’s the art of catchiness. Shit, I’ll challenge anyone out there to listen to this album a few times and try to resist singing “I am the goat” or any one of the other catchy choruses this album has.
Yeah, “I am the goat” is one of the choruses. This seems the appropriate time to bring up the band’s quirkiness. They are a little oddball and wacky. I don’t mind this. I like it when bands inject their personality into their music, and it’s refreshing not to listen to vocals about gore or war (or both at the same time) for a change. If you think “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” is funny, it’s a fair chance you’ll dig Ahma’s humour. Through their strange semi-serious/semi-joking lyrics, stupid publicity shots and oddball intros and interludes (what the fuck is that “Luddite Forces” shit anyway?) Ahma inject this wackiness, and if anything it’s a shame they didn’t push the boundaries more on this point.
So overall, colour me fucking impressed. Ahma’s debut is rockin’, it’s catchy and altogether a pretty damn good collection of songs. Anyone who likes to rock out with their cock out will certainly find this a good album to drop the zipper to. It isn’t technical in any way, just simple rock made to be played loud and enjoyed.

- Information
- Released: 2011
- Label: Firebox Records
- Website: Ahma MySpace
- Band
- Janne Lönnqvist: vocals
- Tuomas Vuento: guitars
- Aki Heikinheimo: bass
- Santeri Pienimäki: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Fide et Venenom
- 02. The New Clergy
- 03. Drowned In Rubicon
- 04. The Goat Of Cavities
- 05. Harnessed To Soil
- 06. Idle
- 07. Enshrined And Incorporated
- 08. Luddite Forces
- 09. N+1
- 10. Antebellum
- 11. Killing Stubborn
- 12. Solenoids
